Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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