I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
