Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
