No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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