Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You made out with two different species that night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
