I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
