can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
