I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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