I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
