So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
