remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
