you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
