I can tuck mytits in my pants
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
