I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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