all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
