Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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