You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
