I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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