i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
