I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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