I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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