I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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