HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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