We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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