i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
