Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.