did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes