Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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