remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
