what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
