Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Never joke about your clitoris.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
