just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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