come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
