Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
