look no pants
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
