I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Panties = found
Randomize
