I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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