no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
