Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
