That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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