We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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