i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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