its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I deserve this hangover.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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