i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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