I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
third nipple confirmed
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
