she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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