The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
