ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
