lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
