I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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