paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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