Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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