don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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