we have pet lesbian snakes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!