i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
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"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
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I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈