Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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