Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  ice luge is my downfall...

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ...u mean upfall.

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  (732): ice luge is my downfall... (1-732): ...u mean upfall. http://tfl.nu/2rlo
  Replies (11) Good night (2140) Bad night (485)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.

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  (504): I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now. http://tfl.nu/wc97
  Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (2180)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.

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  (813): there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it. http://tfl.nu/a1l8
  Replies (7) Good night (4771) Bad night (1059)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined

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  (609): I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined http://tfl.nu/fupt
  Replies (19) Good night (4862) Bad night (1271)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed

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  (847): my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed http://tfl.nu/8ny3
  Replies (33) Good night (538) Bad night (3462)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

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  (203): Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock? http://tfl.nu/k7ck
  Replies (27) Good night (6115) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.

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  (806): You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito. http://tfl.nu/i4sd
  Replies (19) Good night (6517) Bad night (981)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.

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  (412): I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate. http://tfl.nu/bucy
  Replies (18) Good night (3044) Bad night (965)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.

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  (773): Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/4kdw
  Replies (11) Good night (757) Bad night (2872)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER

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  (260): DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER http://tfl.nu/2v94
  Replies (6) Good night (670) Bad night (1421)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.

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  (920): But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/588y
  Replies (6) Good night (1299) Bad night (437)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?

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  (828): i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am? http://tfl.nu/68cf
  Replies (8) Good night (635) Bad night (1250)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.

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  (425): She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude. http://tfl.nu/4r57
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN

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  (321): In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN http://tfl.nu/dhlf
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself

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  (416): well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself http://tfl.nu/ylfg
  Replies (4) Good night (551) Bad night (191)

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