guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up