A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.