look no pants
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
