why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
