i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
