I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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