I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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