they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
