first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
