I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize