so explain again why im purple
no
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
